Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Apology

Apology

by Karen Raze Baduya on Friday, October 16, 2009 at 4:27am

     It’s been long since I had written out my thoughts. It just happened that I thought nothing aroused my interest. But then again, there are just unnoticed shining moments in my darkest times that I failed to notice. How I’m loved unconditionally even though others are disgusted by my confidence and anxiety. I lurk in peers where I think I fit in, not thinking that its’ just a scheme because in the end all I feel is emptiness.

      Everything remained as a misinterpretation. I mistook others guide for me to be better and mature. I am sorry for myself. I am sorry for whom I had unintentionally betrayed, taken for granted, lied and destroyed. I am sorry.

     I know.. I realized that I am not great, I am not strong and I am not perfect. I just strive to be among the stars. But like celebrities there are controversies. Like the heavenly bodies they are too far to reach.. I once long to be in the spotlight. But I know admit, I overlooked how far I will go to have it all.

    It served me well, justice had been implemented. The most crucial thing I could ever imagined.. I am to blame. Nobody else but me. I had been mistaken and I know I had lots of mistakes. I did wrong. I am wrong.

     To all those I’ve hurt and cause unending pain and suffering, I am very sorry. I hope I can still be of good help if in case you need it. The least from an unworthy person like me. But trust me, I do wish you all good things in life that you deserve.

     Above all, I find solace in arms of appreciation from someone given to me by God even if I didn’t pray for it. There I found comfort and security. The warrior destined to protect me even if I’m not worth it. I am still loved despite my shortcomings. Knowing that people had taken advantage of me and had used me and so did I to them.. he still saved me from my own destruction. He showed me my conscience again. I am more aware.

     Who would thought I’ll feel this way? Where they thought this apology will never happened from a girl like me? It is because that girl had turned to be a woman.

     A woman is designed to bear children. That is the purpose why she was created. A woman should admit and know how things should be. She should also raise her children to become a better person and creation of God.

    That is why I decided to accept all my shortcomings so that I can perform all my roles heartily. As a daughter, a student, a mother, a partner and an employee. I felt warmth.

For all of these, I'm very sorry. Thank you and I love you.

GoldenRazorHot

Mujer Hermosa Encantada


Gracias. Thank you for coming. Likewise, I consider this oportunidad muchly. Set aside, I was, far too long and taken for granted. Stayed off cameras and periodicos, I did for most of my life porque I was never given equal importancia. Nevertheless, I don't want to remain voiceless and obscure so I am here to tell you mi side of el cuento. Without further ado, allow me transport you to the world of magia, el amor y besa primero. Let me tell you how I met mi principe one after the other way before una vez sobre una época and beyond y ellos vivieron felizmente alguna vez después.

I am a Woman. Ah, las mujeres bonitas del mundo! I had my share of cavorting with principes encantador. El amor verdadero primero beso with my eyelids aflutter and sparks ashooting across the sky. The flight to castillo grande with mi noble caballero en su raudo corcel. See, romance flows in mi veins. He stand fast to the highest order of Princehood bound to heroic duty and utmost chivalry.

Being el caballero en shining armor that he is, he rescued gorgeous doncellas in distress from ogros, brujas, name it. Hombre, yo ser bueno! After all, He is not just el príncipe guapo para nada. He was born to revive dying princesas and deliver them from their personal tragedias. His beso hasn't, en un momento, failed in lifting the curse from any one of the princesas hermosas and never will. His calculated moves never fail to illicit gushes and sighs from muchachas.

Just the same, I am not just skin puro as snow and lips asmoldering red like cereza. So I gave mi corazón away again and again as if I had all the hearts en el mundo to give which by the way isn't a bad thing if you can get away with it by overcoming cackling vile madrastas brujas y padre-kings perdidos. Since mi principe can overcome fire-spouting dragones y vicious gigantes, sleep-inducing red manzanas y dainty party glass zapatillas, en el nombre del amor. Almost always, My prince is the subject of spells porque he meddles with affairs de familias. Pero the horrible things he went through were only a small precio to pay. It was his madre reina who taught him to be strong for his role as las princesas muchacho del amante.

Terrible spells have transformed me into various criaturas. Nevertheless, it didn't hinder me to love con todo mi vida, mi corazón y mi alma. See, I've been el bestia horrorosa cooking delicious homemade mantecados y torta de penko using mamá-queen's recipes para mi principe. He had been el príncipe de rana croaking out sweet nothings to mi princesa bonita. He had been in long haired princesa's blind príncipe tripping his foot while showing off his smooth salsa steps. See, he did all this and more in the name of siempre.

Ah, despite this, mi corazón was torn in two muchos vezes. Has it been long since I asked mi ultimo principe to be mi lawful esposo? To propose casamiento, pledged romance imperecedero, but whatever happened to conclusión feliz? Does forever exist only as licencia poética? Porque amor can stay no more, I bid mi las princepe, a tearful adios and went off to continue mi search para mi un señorito dulce verdadero. Sí, sí mi one true sweet señorito. And so as always, el príncessa encantador at your servicio is ready to search for love. All of whom waiting to receive el primero beso de amor verdadero. Sí, sí, true love's first kiss.

It was un mañana en el jardín de mi palacio as I was reading mi fan mails. You know I get loads of las cartas del amor everyday from hombres asking me to be their príncessa. Mujer, mi buzon is never empty, el celebrity popular that I am. I send fotografias and sign autógrafos. As extras, I gave lecturas and these are based on mi experiencias personales. I also give lecciones on amor y siempre based on el discursos from the highest order of Love.

I am looking for something, For ejemplo, finding it hard to win el corazón of your princesa? No problemo. Follow the first rule of Ever After. La primera regla: Serenatas. It goes without saying, canciones de amor, poesía, floras, regalos, the works. There are lots more, la segunda regla, el tercero.

What else, ah, getting around errores estúpidos. They do this all the time, don't they amigas? They imagine other muchachas for themselves even if they have la princesa hermosa of their life. Por favor, don't say it out loud so we won’t hear it. And if we hears it by accidente, what to do in times of this? Go back all the way to la primera regla: Serenatas. Stood her up on a date? La primera regla: Serenatas. Forgot mi birthday? Your aniversario? La primera regla: Serenatas. Came home late borracho? Expect flying chinas at you and duck. That is not written código that is instinct, amigo. And if all else fails, ah you know what to do.

No, no I did not say you leave. Stick it out, señor. Do not let power-tripping madrastas y abusive hermanastras get in the way of amor. After all, what did you promise el sol y la luna y las estrellas y para siempre for? And if we leave? Ah, now that is problema. You exclaim Tal dolor! Tal tristeza! You cry out, after all that you did? Tal vergüenza! Pero remember the rules of Separación based on el discursos from the highest order of Princehood. La primera regla: silencio calmado. Leave the crying to mujeres and whinnying to caballos. Show you're el macho,amigo.

Sí, there's a time to wear your corazón on your sleeve and this is not it. So stop telling the whole el mundo I left you. Do you look like you're tragically misunderstood, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Feel like you alone carry the weight of el mundo, señor? Competing with your ex-princesa on el título de break-up drama queen, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Feel like wallowing yourself in self-pity, señor? Leaving your bitter footprints everywhere, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Ah, come on stop being a masoquista, you jilted sicópata!

Then again, mujeres! Ah, tales criaturas encantadoras. Don't we all señoras try to understand, but do we ever get anywhere near at comprehending la hombre de la especie? Exactamente. Sí, sí, this is el dilema de chicos. There is la un dama liberada who sleeps with other men and of all—siete enanos. There is la chica intransigente de esclavo from the ball who enjoys playing identity-switching games and leaves you with a zapatilla for a clue. And there is la una chica confusa who cannot decide whether she wants to be a fish-princesa or a 2-legged muchacha porque stilettos are fun, says she.

How do you know one of them mujeres is your princesa bonita? Ah, only you can say. Only you can make them. See, it takes fe y paciencia for a happily ever after. Muchachos, your job is to be their el caballero en el blindaje brillante and do not forget la primera regla: Serenatas. Muchachas, stay pretty locked up in dark castillos until he finds you. If you don't like him,I’ll go back to my palacio and to my evil madrasta and wait for mi principe. Better luck next time, mi amigos.

And so wish me luck on mi search para mi un señorito dulce verdadero. Sí, sí mi one true sweet señorito. As always, you can count on me. El príncessa encantadora at your servicio is ready to give sound consejo on corteje y amor and waiting to receive el primero beso de amor verdadero. Spread the love, mi amigos y mi amigas. Adiós.

Minsan

Minsan sa gitna ng gabi
Nagigising ako at di mapakali
Kakaisip kung anong isasantabi
Ang aking pagmumuni-muni
O ang magatubili na may makatabi.

Its weird sometimes my eyes just cry
Tears rolling by but then i still smile
Weird to quote, so i try
Holding on tighetr before I die
I may throw out a fiery fire.

Sa mga rason mo sa isip ko
Ang makatulog ang gusto ko
Sana lang matahimik ang isip
Sa bwat hinagpis ng dibdib
Mapawi na ang hinanakit.

Stand in painful agony
I fight in the vague atmosphere
Driving me insane and troubled
Let go, move on and strive.

Raze
September 3, 2010

LOVE Love LOVE

          Love don't give us the promise of forever, but having faith on it makes us believe that there is.
Love is not a one-shot deal that you have to get right at first. You will always make mistakes and find your ideal partner. Love is also a process of finding your way, finding the right one.

        The great mistake we'll make in a relationship is when we look at somebody else other than our partner to satisfy our emotional and physical needs. The second mistake is when we consciously allow ourselves to be the object of these emotional and physical desires. We can never be certain of our relationships because not all of them are built to last our lifetime.

      We have to constantly nurture it so it can grow and we can grow old with it. In the midst of despair, pain, and sorrow, someone comes in our life and gives us strength to believe in life again. The love they give us gives us a blind faith that helps us believe in ourselves again, that we can make our dreams come true. Love can be the bet thing that will ever happen to you. More often than not, your lover is also your bestfriend, one who will stand by you through thick and thin.

       Most ordinary relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods. The truth is you will not ran out of goods if you believe you won't. People cannot change who you really are. You just have to tell them and be honest about the real person behind you. You cannot hide in your cloak of deception forever.

      You deserve to be happy just by being yourself. A relationship is a two way street. It's never all your fault or the other person's. You go into the relationship together and work through it all together. And remember, the best relationship is one w/c your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. When we begin to put so much weight on what others fell and think about our relationships, we become distracted and lose our own perception of our partners.

     If you choose to fight for love, then you should be prepared to face the consequences and risk associated with it. But if you choose to follow tradition over the dictate of your heart the you also have to be prepared to lose someone you love. Let us always remember that, in the end it is not how much love we have received that would count, but how much love we have given and how much more we are willing to give even without the promise of earning it back.

       We constantly have to make an extra effort to make others feel that they are important to us and the small things they do are appreciated. The greatness of a relationship is built on the foundation of small acts of kindess, love and compassion. Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, they are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a purpose and meaning behind all events, and this purpose and meaning develops you as a person and as a lover. True love only comes once in a lifetime, so take it as it comes along and enjoy every bit of it whille it is still burning strong.. This is the true measure of love: When we strongly believe that there is no one else who could give as much love to our partners, nobody from their past, present or future.. When you look into the eyes of your love, you see forever, you see warmth and safety, you see two hearts beating together for each other, for the rest of your lives..

       If you love someone, show the person your love everyday and in every way, because all the wealth in the world could never bring that person back when lost.. You may find peace in loving someone from a distance and not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow.. In the middle of this world full of hurt and sorrow, there is one question that would make you think: If the world ended today, would you be at peace with the amount of love you shared?

       Did it ever cross your mind that the greatest love a father can give to his children is to love their mother? We have to remember to always mean what we say, because the words that come out of our lips mean nothing if they do not come from the heart.. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.. To let go of someone doesn't mean that you have to stop loving. it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back..

      The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance; far enough to allow each one to grow but never too far to feel the love within each others being.. Go for the person of deeds and not for the person of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not from the person you love but from the person who loves you more.. Always keep in mind that trust takes years to build, but mere seconds to destroy. And then it takes you even longer to rebuild it.. Love is like a road; either you travel it and marvel at the wonders it brings or you dont travel it and wonder what it would be like.. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.. Remember that the problems in your relationship are not given to you to destroy you, but to make you better persons and strengthen your bond of love..

       When our feelings get too strong for a person, it is always wise to stop for a while and give our hearts a time to breathe.. Lets take the time to use our mind to weigh our situation based on reason and not on emotion.. When traveling the path of life and finding love along the way, everything will look new and different.. Little do you know it is the same old landscape you used to see all the time; love has just given you new eyes..

       Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and consider what your mind tells you. Listen not only to your feelings, but to reason as well.. To love is to understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your heart and trust one another.. If you cant do all of these, then you might want to consider if you really want to be with each other.. Nothing could bring more contentment than seeing the love in your loved one's smile and knowing that smile is for you.. Love does not just last by itself. it is our intention to make that love last that determines whether it is going to grow strong and last long.. Breaking up is not always a bad thing.. instead it makes you a better person, helps you realize your mistakes, and prepares you for your next relationship.. Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason..

        The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.. There may be loves found and lost, and your heart may break many times, but now, let the hope of love come and make you smile.. Sometimes you would feel like you want to show that special someone why you love him/her right then and there but it actually takes a lifetime to prove your love to that person.. Don't be discouraged.. because that's the beauty of love and what makes it last.. Dont be afraid to love with all your heart, because you never lose by loving.. You always lose by holding back.. People often ask me what the best way to love is..

          After considering everything that comes with love, I think it is safe to say that the best way to love is to love like a child: pure, innocent and without hesitation.. Don't be afraid to get your heart broken because one who has never experienced pain brought by love has never really learned how to love.. If you have reasons for loving someone then you are using your mind.. If you cant find the reasons why you love someone, then you are using your heart..

         Try to take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship.. if you find out that you still care for the person, then there is no doubt that it's love that you feel.. A person can be in love with someone forever till the end of time, but if that person doesn't tell or show his/her feelings of love, it will be just another person living in a dream, lost of true love we can never be certain of our relationships because not all of them are both to last our lifetime. We have to constantly nurture it so it can grow and we can grow old with it..

       The love they give us and faith that helps us believe in ourselves again that we can make our dreams come true.. Love isn't always an easy road to pass through.. if you find yourself confused about your path, take a minute and let love help you find your way.. Love can be the best thing that will ever happen to you.. More often than not, your lover is also your best friend, one who will stand by you through thick and thin.

Monday, May 7, 2012

april journal 2012


RN HEALS MONTHLY JOURNAL
APRIL 2012

Name: Karen Flores Baduya RN
Area of Assignment:           RHU-Milaor
Milaor, Camarines Sur
I.    ACTIVITIES:

This may be the busiest month ever since I started in RHU-Milaor. Holy Week or celebrating the Lenten Season is one of the activity for this month as well as the Town Fiesta of Milaor. St. Joseph the Worker Parish is the town patron.  This is Milaor’s 4th Obrero Festival. The dates not included here are considered our normal routine day while the dates included here do have the certain activities as mentioned.

RHU-Milaor Staff (we had pictorial to be included in the magazine souvenir of Milaor)

April 5 – Holy Thursday
April 6 – Good Friday
April 9 – Holiday (Araw ng Kagitingan)
April 10 – Pre-Natal Check Up Day
April 11 – 4Ps Orientation by the DSWD at Milaor Covered Court

April 12 – Mother’s Class at San Antonio


April 13 – Mother’s Class at Lipot
                 

April 14 – LGU-Pakurusugan Opening 2012
  
April 14, 2012- Opening
         
 April 21, 2012 - Championship

Opening Parade (I’m holding the banner)

We have 4 teams competing in this Sports Competition
Red team is composed of DepEd Elem.Teachers
Yellow team is the LGU-Milaor Employees
Blue team is DepEd High School Teachers
Orange team is PNP/BFP/NGO’s Employees
We have Recreational Games which are Crows and Cranes, Steal the Tire, Mixed it Up Relay, Three-Legged Race, Egg and Spoon Relay, Bucket and Sponge Relay, Fireman’s Carry, Two-man’s Carry, Pass the Ball Over and Under and ball games such as basketball shoot outs, badminton, volleyball and Ballroom Dancing competition. I played the games Crows and Cranes, Egg and Spoon Relay, basketball shoot out, I was lifted at the Fireman’s Carry and Two Man’s Carry and competed at the Ballroom Competition.


                                       Crows and Cranes (I’m the one wearing yellow knee-socks)             

  Egg & Spoon Relay
 
 
 
Fireman’s Carry (I’m being lifted)  

 
                                                       Two-Man Carry (I’m lifted again)

¯ April 17 – 4Ps Scheduled Meeting and Check Up of Brgy. Del Rosario with Maam France Valenciano. The scheduled check ups of children 3 to 5yrs old will be twice a month only and 0 to 2 yrs will be having their check up once a month every Friday at the Main RHU.
This was emphasized since they were crowding the RHU center everyday just to comply in having their regular check up and getting prescription in taking vitamins.

April 19 – Mother’s Class at Maydaso

-          STI / HIV-AIDS Orientation and Seminar to the Velvet Red Roses Employees that just recently opened in the boundary of Milaor, south of Naga City.

¯ April 21 – Pakurusugan Championship, the games we have won in the elimination are for final championship games.

¯ April 22 – Milo Marathon Fun Run 2012, as a RHU Nurse, I am part of the Medical Team assigned at Station 3 located at Embarcadero de Milaor. I also lead the warming up exercises of the runners in the Covered Court and I got a nestle belt bag as a souvenir.
 


 

     

 

 

               
Briefing of Runners

¯  During the afternoon, we had our BINGO Game sponsored by the SB Officials.
¯  Tree Planting Activity
¯  During the night we had our Awarding Ceremony of the Pakurusugan Competition and we performed in the Ballroom Dancing Competition.
 

 
(Dancing Foxtrot, Waltz& Tango)
We got the Over-All Champion Place and as for the Ballroom Dancing, our pair ended up in the 4th Place. We got a total of 17,500 pesos prize for being the champion of the Palaro.

All the players of the team LGU composed of 30 members conducted a meeting of what to do with the prize we’ve won, as majority the 7500 will be divided among the 27 players who played in the Pakurusugan, that is 280 pesos each. The remaining 10,000 pesos will be used in our excursion which will be held at Pasacao Resort possibly after the town fiesta. Tentative date is May 4 or 5.

April 23 – Agriculture Day at the Plaza










April 24 – RPM was conducted at Brgy. Mayaopayawan by Maam Glenda and John Leo from RN Heals 3.
¯  DepEd Night
¯  4Ps scheduled check up for Brgy. San Vicente

April 25 – Miss Gay Milaor Talent Competition
April 26 – Miss Gay Milaor Pageant
April 27 – Beer Plaza as sponsored by Kabalikat, LGU and SMB Corporation, with Live Bands, ticket Price:100 php with 2 beers included.





Mother’s Class at Dalipay

RM Heals Batch 3 started in the RHU, we have 2 Registered Midwives namely Unice Casro and Josephine Dela Cruz.

 (Midwife Joh)


 
     (Midwife Unice)

April 28 – Miss Milaor Talent Competition
April 29 – Miss Milaor Pageant, I’m one of the Usherette as chairman Glenda Lucena, RHU Nurse Supervisor headed us. We were give funds of the LGU to buy our own cocktail dress and footwear.

April 30 – Milaor Community Parade









II.    LEARNINGS/INSIGHTS:
In spite of the very busy schedule I have as part of the LGU-Activities, I was still able to perform my obligations as a nurse in our main RHU. I took PPD test to at least 3 patients that has negative results. I still routinely admit patients every morning before practicing for ballroom dancing. I am able to report to work without being late although I was still up past midnight the last night because I was called for in representing RHU in a LGU occasion. In short, time-management counts a lot especially if you’re a nurse. Imagine the work load of a nurse assigned in the hospital, with the heavy work and overtime that are not well compensated, the days you have to work although it’s a holy day or holiday, the shifting schedule really will cause body pain, stress and your lucky if you don’t get sick along the way. It is important that as a nurse, a health advocate, you don’t have any vices like smoking or gambling. Maintain yourself to be physically, mentally and emotionally fit. Participate in extra-curricular activities since all work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.
With regards to mothers class and medication,  it already retains in my mind. The work I have in the RHU is already imprinted in my consciousness. I know how to first aid, remove stitches, wound care and the like. These nursing measures are needed as a nurse.

III. ISSUES/CONCERNS:

The main concern that was brought to my attention this month was the expired tetanus toxoid vaccines in RHU medicine fridge. Most of the pregnant women of Milaor doesn’t go to the RHU to have their prenatal checkups and were not given any tetanus toxoid immunization. When we conducted mother’s class, some hindrance was they were not informed that tetanus toxoid was given in the RHU for free and they didn’t even know that they need to have prenatal check ups. Other misinformation was they didn’t know that they can be injected with the vaccine even if they were not pregnant or if they have given birth already.
Another issue is that the RHU Computer broke down because of not enough memory. Now we are not able to print Referral Slip, Medical Certificate Forms, Laboratory Forms, Medico- Legal Forms and other important reports/ documents.
Other issues are about LGU governance that I choose not to elaborate further in avoidance of chaos and disastrous comment and feedback.

IV. RECOMMENDATIONS:

Emphasize further the importance of Pre-Natal Check Up during mothers class or encouraging BHW and BNS to disseminate useful and knowledgeful information about MNCHN.
The technician we have in the LGU doesn’t have schedule to fix our computer since it will take time to be fixed. I suggest we find other technician who can fix it ASAP.

Signed:
Karen Flores Baduya RN
License No. 0681423
RN HEALS NURSE