Apology
It’s been long since I had written out my thoughts. It just happened
that I thought nothing aroused my interest. But then again, there are
just unnoticed shining moments in my darkest times that I failed to
notice. How I’m loved unconditionally even though others are disgusted
by my confidence and anxiety. I lurk in peers where I think I fit in,
not thinking that its’ just a scheme because in the end all I feel is
emptiness.
Everything remained as a misinterpretation. I mistook
others guide for me to be better and mature. I am sorry for myself. I am
sorry for whom I had unintentionally betrayed, taken for granted, lied
and destroyed. I am sorry.
I know.. I realized that I am not
great, I am not strong and I am not perfect. I just strive to be among
the stars. But like celebrities there are controversies. Like the
heavenly bodies they are too far to reach.. I once long to be in the
spotlight. But I know admit, I overlooked how far I will go to have it
all.
It served me well, justice had been implemented. The most
crucial thing I could ever imagined.. I am to blame. Nobody else but me.
I had been mistaken and I know I had lots of mistakes. I did wrong. I
am wrong.
To all those I’ve hurt and cause unending pain and
suffering, I am very sorry. I hope I can still be of good help if in
case you need it. The least from an unworthy person like me. But trust
me, I do wish you all good things in life that you deserve.
Above
all, I find solace in arms of appreciation from someone given to me by
God even if I didn’t pray for it. There I found comfort and security.
The warrior destined to protect me even if I’m not worth it. I am still
loved despite my shortcomings. Knowing that people had taken advantage
of me and had used me and so did I to them.. he still saved me from my
own destruction. He showed me my conscience again. I am more aware.
Who would thought I’ll feel this way? Where they thought this apology
will never happened from a girl like me? It is because that girl had
turned to be a woman.
A woman is designed to bear children. That
is the purpose why she was created. A woman should admit and know how
things should be. She should also raise her children to become a better
person and creation of God.
That is why I decided to accept all
my shortcomings so that I can perform all my roles heartily. As a
daughter, a student, a mother, a partner and an employee. I felt warmth.
For all of these, I'm very sorry. Thank you and I love you.
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