Gracias. Thank you for coming. Likewise, I consider this
oportunidad muchly. Set aside, I was, far too long and taken for granted.
Stayed off cameras and periodicos, I did for most of my life porque I was never
given equal importancia. Nevertheless, I don't want to remain voiceless and
obscure so I am here to tell you mi side of el cuento. Without further ado,
allow me transport you to the world of magia, el amor y besa primero. Let me
tell you how I met mi principe one after the other way before una vez sobre una
época and beyond y ellos vivieron felizmente alguna vez después.
I am a Woman. Ah, las mujeres bonitas del mundo! I had my share of cavorting
with principes encantador. El amor verdadero primero beso with my eyelids
aflutter and sparks ashooting across the sky. The flight to castillo grande
with mi noble caballero en su raudo corcel. See, romance flows in mi veins. He
stand fast to the highest order of Princehood bound to heroic duty and utmost
chivalry.
Being el caballero en shining armor that he is, he rescued gorgeous doncellas
in distress from ogros, brujas, name it. Hombre, yo ser bueno! After all, He is
not just el príncipe guapo para nada. He was born to revive dying princesas and
deliver them from their personal tragedias. His beso hasn't, en un momento,
failed in lifting the curse from any one of the princesas hermosas and never
will. His calculated moves never fail to illicit gushes and sighs from
muchachas.
Just the same, I am not just skin puro as snow and lips asmoldering red like
cereza. So I gave mi corazón away again and again as if I had all the hearts en
el mundo to give which by the way isn't a bad thing if you can get away with it
by overcoming cackling vile madrastas brujas y padre-kings perdidos. Since mi
principe can overcome fire-spouting dragones y vicious gigantes, sleep-inducing
red manzanas y dainty party glass zapatillas, en el nombre del amor. Almost
always, My prince is the subject of spells porque he meddles with affairs de
familias. Pero the horrible things he went through were only a small precio to
pay. It was his madre reina who taught him to be strong for his role as las
princesas muchacho del amante.
Terrible spells have transformed me into various criaturas. Nevertheless, it
didn't hinder me to love con todo mi vida, mi corazón y mi alma. See, I've been
el bestia horrorosa cooking delicious homemade mantecados y torta de penko
using mamá-queen's recipes para mi principe. He had been el príncipe de rana
croaking out sweet nothings to mi princesa bonita. He had been in long haired
princesa's blind príncipe tripping his foot while showing off his smooth salsa
steps. See, he did all this and more in the name of siempre.
Ah, despite this, mi corazón was torn in two muchos vezes. Has it been long
since I asked mi ultimo principe to be mi lawful esposo? To propose casamiento,
pledged romance imperecedero, but whatever happened to conclusión feliz? Does
forever exist only as licencia poética? Porque amor can stay no more, I bid mi
las princepe, a tearful adios and went off to continue mi search para mi un
señorito dulce verdadero. Sí, sí mi one true sweet señorito. And so as always,
el príncessa encantador at your servicio is ready to search for love. All of
whom waiting to receive el primero beso de amor verdadero. Sí, sí, true love's
first kiss.
It was un mañana en el jardín de mi palacio as I was reading mi fan mails. You
know I get loads of las cartas del amor everyday from hombres asking me to be
their príncessa. Mujer, mi buzon is never empty, el celebrity popular that I
am. I send fotografias and sign autógrafos. As extras, I gave lecturas and
these are based on mi experiencias personales. I also give lecciones on amor y
siempre based on el discursos from the highest order of Love.
I am looking for something, For ejemplo, finding it hard to win el corazón of
your princesa? No problemo. Follow the first rule of Ever After. La primera
regla: Serenatas. It goes without saying, canciones de amor, poesía, floras,
regalos, the works. There are lots more, la segunda regla, el tercero.
What else, ah, getting around errores estúpidos. They do this all the time,
don't they amigas? They imagine other muchachas for themselves even if they
have la princesa hermosa of their life. Por favor, don't say it out loud so we
won’t hear it. And if we hears it by accidente, what to do in times of this? Go
back all the way to la primera regla: Serenatas. Stood her up on a date? La
primera regla: Serenatas. Forgot mi birthday? Your aniversario? La primera
regla: Serenatas. Came home late borracho? Expect flying chinas at you and
duck. That is not written código that is instinct, amigo. And if all else
fails, ah you know what to do.
No, no I did not say you leave. Stick it out, señor. Do not let power-tripping
madrastas y abusive hermanastras get in the way of amor. After all, what did
you promise el sol y la luna y las estrellas y para siempre for? And if we
leave? Ah, now that is problema. You exclaim Tal dolor! Tal tristeza! You cry
out, after all that you did? Tal vergüenza! Pero remember the rules of
Separación based on el discursos from the highest order of Princehood. La
primera regla: silencio calmado. Leave the crying to mujeres and whinnying to
caballos. Show you're el macho,amigo.
Sí, there's a time to wear your corazón on your sleeve and this is not it. So
stop telling the whole el mundo I left you. Do you look like you're tragically
misunderstood, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Feel like you alone
carry the weight of el mundo, señor? Competing with your ex-princesa on el
título de break-up drama queen, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Feel
like wallowing yourself in self-pity, señor? Leaving your bitter footprints
everywhere, señor? La primera regla: silencio calmado. Ah, come on stop being a
masoquista, you jilted sicópata!
Then again, mujeres! Ah, tales criaturas encantadoras. Don't we all señoras try
to understand, but do we ever get anywhere near at comprehending la hombre de
la especie? Exactamente. Sí, sí, this is el dilema de chicos. There is la un
dama liberada who sleeps with other men and of all—siete enanos. There is la
chica intransigente de esclavo from the ball who enjoys playing
identity-switching games and leaves you with a zapatilla for a clue. And there
is la una chica confusa who cannot decide whether she wants to be a
fish-princesa or a 2-legged muchacha porque stilettos are fun, says she.
How do you know one of them mujeres is your princesa bonita? Ah, only you can
say. Only you can make them. See, it takes fe y paciencia for a happily ever
after. Muchachos, your job is to be their el caballero en el blindaje brillante
and do not forget la primera regla: Serenatas. Muchachas, stay pretty locked up
in dark castillos until he finds you. If you don't like him,I’ll go back to my
palacio and to my evil madrasta and wait for mi principe. Better luck next
time, mi amigos.
And so wish me luck on mi search para mi un señorito dulce verdadero. Sí, sí mi
one true sweet señorito. As always, you can count on me. El príncessa encantadora
at your servicio is ready to give sound consejo on corteje y amor and waiting
to receive el primero beso de amor verdadero. Spread the love, mi amigos y mi
amigas. Adiós.
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