I am Razor Hot.
This is my pen name. I am fond of composing poems since I was in secondary education. Razor is a symbol that cuts, literally it is sharp. If you compare it to me I am witty. I can also say that I hurt people whether it is intentionally or unintentionally. I never noticed that I am blunt when I was in high school. Realization came to me when I started to know myself deeply through my poems and journals. Journal writing has been a part of my life since I discovered how to play with words. Words entertained me much. They bring a lot of meaning that if a philosopher would decipher, it will bring lot of definition. I enjoyed talking to myself through journals. It reflects my identity to what my habits are. It is a portal where I used to understand myself, interpret thoughts, define emotions. It may just be a simple way to know love one self. At points, it can express despair, depression, hatred and of course excitement, joy, love etc..
I guess it’s my way to learn more about the nature of how humans interact with each other. I don’t have any issues on how I act when I socialize. I put into words the action that I noticed or what I had experienced by the time being. I felt the urge that I want my descendants to know how meaningful I had lived my life. To at least serve as an example of how I tried to hardly face and survive all of life’s adversities.
How I tried to correct my mistakes, how I tried to justify my decisions, how I tried to earn in a clean and honest living.. this will at least inform them how my life started from scratch and tell how I was able to achieve some things or what ways I did to achieve it. I think my goal is for the world to know what kind of life I have.
Others may learn from it. For me it’s okay that my life is an open book. I’m exposing myself for others to gain lessons that they may not repeat, since they will already know how frustrating and aggravating it will affect the people around them. Aside from that I added the adjective Hot in my pen name. Heat is a product of flame, fuel and smoke. Hotness can be because fire consumed a combustible substance.
And what is that substance? Figuratively it is the strength and energy that I had generated to produce achievements that I am proud of. Hot in other meaning is sexy.. or it is a turn on. Kidding aside, there are several men that had been linked to me. Just like showbiz. So I guess it really suit me that I am a passionate being, because I really am. Razorhot combined together make up a weapon of destruction.
It is offensive. As much as I want to have it just a self-defense material it becomes a symbol of aggressiveness, an act of courage, a way of being active instead of just being passive, to initiate according to intuitiveness and to attack for the goal to conquer. I remained untamed, for even I declare war for the worlds of man, I still live according to my own judgement and beliefs. I won’t deny the fact that I can be influenced but I don’t permit them. My lifestyle will not be affected. I can adopt but won’t change my nature. I live for my goal and purpose.I can say I am created to be like this.
It is my undying nature to thirst for knowledge and this hunger for experience drives my primary reason for living. A fish can never breathe above the water surface just as like a tiger can’t live under the ocean. Everyone is expected to excel at their assigned duties. They were designated as to their capacities. Its difficult to change it unless you’ll take the risk and compromised. I am not afraid to compromised, I was never afraid to take risks but bravery is not always about fighting. It is standing upright when no one dares to stand. What are the contributing factors why I think like this?
How razorhot came alive? There is this fire burning and it is still growing. This is what we all fear. For all the sufferings I had, I need to develop a plan to protect myself. Pain can be my fire. Pain can invent a weapon and it fuels the energy of a wounded soldier. Pain can also destroy. It can get you insane. If you’re weak, you are frail. If you don’t get up, you won’t survive. Pain will mold you. If you’re going to face pain be equipped. Be wise. It is around, so be careful. Pain is an enigma. It is a pretender. It is a liar. But it is felt. It is lethal. The world is at war.
Science and religion seems to compete with each other. But science is just too young to understand faith. So they seem to think other wise with religion. I will put myself in fairness and equality, balanced and just, unselfish and mature. I am still trying to consider events, weighing the impossible with what can be the outcome. There is a desire for me to grow and exceed my limits. And I know I’ll be able to achieve. I will be successful. I will learn and I will be proud of it. It will reveal the day that my search is complete. The journey to that path will be recorded.
Triumphs and failures will be noted. Hindrances will be observed.I am ready for battle.. It had started the time I was born. I am razorhot.
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